It's been awhile

Well, life has been different. Things change each and every day. I started this blog to let everyone know how post surgery life is and my weight loss. So here goes nothing. Life has definitely been a roller coaster the last two weeks. John and I moved out of our town home in Colleyville into another apartment...let just say that I hate moving and the animal sure don't like it either. We are all adjusting. I was laid off yet another job as a nanny that I only worked at for two weeks. It just feels like life couldn't get any worst but on the bright side when you have reached the bottom there is no where else to go except up.

A lot of people don't understand what I had to go through to get my surgery, I had to have extensive 6 months worth of pre surgery counseling with my nutritionist and psychologist. I though oh well this is crazy but I knew that I needed to do this to be able to get the surgery that was almost at my finger tips. So I did what was necessary to be able to get what I needed and wanted so badly. It's been 6 weeks since my surgery and I feel wonderful people are starting to notice that I look different but can't exactly figure out what is different. (Little know fact, not everyone that knows me knows that I had lap band surgery.) I think the most noticeable thing that has happened is what is happening inside myself.

Today was a tough day for me, now I am going to spare you all of the details of what happened but I will let you in on how and why I am changing the way that I write my blog. I realized today that things that I have done in my past effect the way that people treat me but I also did things a certain way to feel accepted, needed, and wanted...but most of all loved. One things true for everyone, you are not the same person you were 10 years ago or even 24 hours ago. Life is about creating yourself and each breathe that you take you are one step closer to create the person you were put on this earth to be.

After the event of today I realized that instead of needing to feel all these things from other people I need to start feeling them within myself. I need to love myself, be proud of myself, and know that I good enough. Yeah Yeah I know what your saying that is so easy but honestly it's different for everyone. Everyone has their own struggles and everyone deals with them differently. Some can just close their eyes and breathe and others have to take some time maybe minutes, days, weeks, months, or even years but all in all everyone deals with and finds the happiness they have been yearning to find in themselves.

Have I found that? No, but I will!

Quote: "Be the change you wish to see in the world!" "Love is to distance as wind is to fire"

Love Yourself because in the end that is all that you have. If you don't take care of the one thing you are responsible then you can never have the life that you have imagined.


wldgrneyes59 said...

Kudos my dearest daughter...I am proud of you! You should be proud of yourself! Make peace with your past and move forward! Inch by inch everything is a cinch! Ha! Put one foot in front of the other. Baby steps add up! Really they do! Love yourself and Respect yourself they go hand in hand! I've LOVED you!

Jessica Marie said...

Girl I am happy for you that you are willing to love yourself before you worry about what others think and or do… You have always been a beautiful girl and now that you are seeing the bigger picture your true inter beauty will shine as well… People may treat you by the way you were… But if you live for what you believe now then that is the true test of friendships and relationships. People will start to wonder why you are happier and a total different person… Let them be left behind if they chose not to keep up with you in motion. I love you girl and miss you like ever!